Are you self sabotaging your happiness? Are you making career decisions that are holding you back without you knowing? Find out for free right here.
Happiness is a serious problem. That is actually the name of a book that deals with happiness, and the premise of the book annoys some people in the same way that this article title annoys some people.
Some people, both sensible and otherwise, genuinely feel that happiness is not important. We all have to suffer in order to get what we want, and if we were so concerned with happiness, then nobody would achieve anything. The men that landed in Normandy wouldn’t have gotten off their boats if they were more concerned with happiness than they were with doing what is right.
However, that is where the fundamental misunderstanding occurs. Happiness is important, which is why sacrificing your happiness for the common good or in order to succeed is so important and powerful.
Happiness Is Important And Worth Protecting
Even if you are not happy, it is your duty to act happy. Sulking and whining is what immature teenagers do (and emotionally immature adults). You have no right to take out your bad mood and horrible day on the people around you. It is imperative that you work on your happiness so that you are able to enjoy happiness from time to time, and so that you are sacrificing your happiness for things that are important and meaningful. In this article, you will find ways that some people sabotage their own happiness, and what is sad, is that they often sabotage their own happiness with the incorrect belief that they are being noble, or that success will follow because of it.
1 - Prioritizing money is a mistake, but you should focus on it
If money is your priority, then you are sabotaging your happiness. Sadly, people think they are making a sacrifice for money and that money will make them happy. In almost all cases where people sacrifice their happiness in a job they hate, they do it for the money, and then spend the money on making themselves feel better!!! Do you see the problem here?
[--] Negotiating for higher pay for the sake of more money is wrong, negotiate a higher wages so that you may spend more time on each project and take more pride in what you do.
[--] You should focus on money because it is a big motivator. Doing something you have practiced at and worked at, and then receiving a good wage for it is very fulfilling.
[--] People who do things just for the money cannot enjoy their job. They are sacrificing their happiness with no return. You may argue that parents make this sacrifice, but they are not just working for the money, they are doing something just for the money in order to raise their child, and their child brings them happiness.
2 - You need to be a peacock and a beaver, or you become a blind hen
Being underappreciated is the worst feeling in the world, especially when other people take the credit for cheating or for your work. If you feel unhappy at work because you are good at it, because you work hard, and yet you receive no recognition, then you are a blind hen from the Gotthold Lessing (1729-1981) Blind Hen Fable.
Lessing, Fables, Book II, No. 9. By Gotthold Lessing 1729-1981
A short version of the fable is how a blind hen would scratch for corn, and the raven would stand over her and steal the corn she found without the hen knowing.
Here is a translation of the fable called, "The blind hen who lost her sight"
Another translation is on this wiki about German Fables.
If you suffer from the problem of being unappreciated, then you need to become a peacock where you show your work and your diligence at every opportunity, and you need to be a beaver in that you work very hard even when nobody is watching.
[--] You need to be seen doing your job and doing it well. This may even involve telling your boss what you have done in a very overt way. Make your efforts very difficult to ignore or miss. Create situations where you see your boss more, be it where you work, or be it at church on Sunday.
[--] Your face needs to be out there in many respects. You need to put yourself in situations where your boss sees you and converses with you. Outgoing, popular and charming people will put in time with their boss, and they will be promoted.
[--] If things go to wrong when you are not there, and nobody knows why, you need to seriously alter your attitude. Have you ever wondered why sleazy suck-ups are still promoted? It is because they put themselves in their bosses’ presence.
3 - Following your dreams and not following opportunity and/or your own skills
For example, picture the actress who stands on stage when receiving an academy award and says, “Women, follow your dreams, you can do it, I never stopped believing.” Yet, the award she won can only be won once in that ceremony, so what about all the other women that never stopped trying and never stopped believing?
Dreams are part of being human, and they make us happy, but they shouldn’t be the defining lever upon which your decisions are made. Pursue your dreams, but do not make your decisions based solely on them or you are sabotaging your own happiness with no real gain in sight. Follow your dream is bad advice if it stops you following opportunity. Sadly, on the good reads website, there are 192 results showing books with “Follow your dreams” in the title.
[--] The people who follow their dreams and succeed are people who came to their decisions logically. They followed opportunity, usually by creating it, and they made hundreds of compromises in order to get there.
[--] You do not know what will make you happy until you invest yourself into it. The childish belief that you “don’t know unless you try” is silly because most things are an acquired taste, and many things need practice before they become fun.
[--] Are you so arrogant that you honestly think you know what you want out of life? To what extent is your arrogance? Do you know you will dislike hummus before you try it? Did you decide to grow as tall as you did?
4 - Misunderstanding the dynamic of failure, you can learn more from success
Yes, you can learn from failure, and you should, but learning from success is more important. Pseudo life-coaching success-coaching charlatans will often tote the power of learning from failure with examples of how Edison failed 3000 times before inventing the light bulb. They don’t offer the alternative view that maybe Edison was crap at inventing light bulbs and that maybe another person with his resources could have done it with only 100 failures.
Such life coach money vampires will also tell you to learn from failure, but you should learn from success. People rarely learn from success because it went right, so why bother. But, you cannot repeat something if you do not know how it happened. You need to figure out what went right, why it went right, why you had the luck you had, and most importantly of all…why it didn’t go wrong this time!
[--] Learning nothing from failure is a career sin and a happiness vampire. You cannot learn from failure if you do not take responsibility for it and then set out a plan for what you will do differently next time.
[--] If people didn’t learn from bad luck, then the umbrella would have never been invented. Bad luck may not be your fault, but next time you can take steps to avoid it.
[--] Taking responsibility doesn’t mean coming down on yourself. If you learn nothing from a situation, and if you cannot set out a plan for how to do it differently, then you haven’t spent enough time reflecting on it.
5 - Stopping!
Success and happiness are linked to when you stop. The phrase, “Most people stop just before the finish line” is very powerful and true. Yet, some people waste their lives doing things they never succeed at. When should you stop? Moreover, how do you balance stopping and happiness?
Know when to stop!
[--] Stop right when your workday ends and not a moment before and not a moment after. People who work past the finishing time should be kicking themselves for not planning better. Working unpaid overtime doesn’t mean you are dedicated, it means you are too incompetent to get things done within your scheduled working hours.
[--] If you stop trying to improve yourself, then you have stopped being a success. You can stop anything and still be a success, but if you stop trying to get better, then you are no longer successful.
[--] If you are no longer coming up with ideas, then have hit a rut from which only failure can grow. Happiness comes from the setting of goals and the pleasure of achieving them. If you are not making time to come up with ideas on what to do, how to do it, and how to improve, then you are sabotaging your happiness.
Written By Ashley Gaynor, 04/12/2016